Are You Making These 7 Common Mistakes with Your Marriage During Life Transitions? Christian Couples' Guide to Staying Connected

Richard Brown
Nov 14
4 min read

Transitions: moving homes, welcoming a new child, shifting jobs, facing a loss: pull at the fabric of every marriage. Even the strongest couples can feel stretched thin when life asks them to change. As Christians, we believe God escorts us through every season, but even with faith, it’s easy to drift apart or fumble through the unexpected.

At Grace Journey Counseling, LLC., we walk beside couples through each unique chapter. We know that worry, stress, and hurt don’t signal weakness: they’re simply signs that you care deeply. Let’s unfold seven of the most common mistakes Christian couples make during life transitions, and discover practical, faith-rooted ways to stay woven together.

1. Letting Communication Fade Into the Background

During big changes, you might feel like you’re talking all the time: but are you really hearing each other? It’s easy to slip into “problem-solving” mode or withdraw to protect yourself from hurt. This can sound like:

Tense, surface-level small talk
Misunderstandings escalating quickly
Feeling emotionally unanchored

Faith Rooted Reframe: Remember, God encourages us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak” (James 1:19). Set aside time: even just 15 minutes: for undistracted, technology-free conversation. Pray before you talk, inviting God into your dialogue as a gentle guide for understanding, patience, and peace.

2. Harboring Unforgiveness or Keeping Score

Transition exposes raw nerves: old arguments resurface and new stressors add fuel. We all stumble, but holding onto past hurts or tallying mistakes blocks deeper connection and healing.

Faith Rooted Reframe: Scripture reminds us to forgive as we have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32). Whisper a simple prayer asking God to soften any hardness in your heart. Practice grace, allowing your marriage to become a safe haven for restoration: not a courtroom for grievances.

3. Neglecting the Friendship at Your Marriage’s Core

With routines shifting, it’s tempting to set “us time” aside. Responsibilities pile up, but investing in friendship with your spouse isn’t a luxury: it’s foundational.

Date nights disappear
Shared hobbies are paused
Playfulness is replaced by “just getting through the day”

Faith Rooted Reframe: Remember, even Christ retreated with beloved friends (Mark 6:31). Schedule simple rituals: a favorite show together, a walk, laughter over coffee. Protect these moments as sacred: places where connection and affection flourish.

4. Expecting Your Spouse to Change, but Not Examining Your Own Heart

It’s easy to spot your partner’s flaws, especially under stress. But fixating on their need to grow without reflecting on your own part stops progress and invites resentment.

Faith Rooted Reframe: Invite God to reveal growth opportunities within yourself. Philippians 2:3 nudges us to “do nothing out of selfish ambition…but in humility value others above yourselves.” When both spouses seek personal growth, the whole union is refreshed.

5. Allowing Emotional or Physical Intimacy to Diminish

During taxing seasons, exhaustion and anxiety build walls, not bridges. Physical touch and emotional closeness can quietly slip away, leaving both spouses feeling isolated.

Faith Rooted Reframe: Physical intimacy is a gift from God: cherished in Christian marriage. Gentle hugs, holding hands, or scheduling special time doesn’t just strengthen your bond, but reinforces God’s design for unity and comfort. If you’re struggling, pray together for renewed tenderness and consider reaching out for compassionate, faith-informed support.

6. Battling About Money or Parenting Without Teamwork

Transitions often bring financial strain or new parenting challenges. These can simmer into conflict if you’re not united. Arguments about bills, budgets, or discipline styles are common, but unchecked, they can leave deep scars.

Faith Rooted Reframe: “Two are better than one…for if they fall, one will lift up the other” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Instead of seeing money or parenting disagreements as battlegrounds, approach them as a team. Pray over decisions, set shared goals, and openly express anxieties and dreams.

7. Drifting Into Spiritual Mismatch or Neglect

Sometimes, transitions reveal differences in spiritual rhythms: one spouse growing in faith while the other feels left behind, or both simply drifting apart spiritually.

Skipping church or prayer together
Avoiding conversations about faith
Feeling spiritually “out of sync”

Faith Rooted Reframe: Root every transition in God’s Word and prayer together. Even short shared devotions or prayer before bed can nurture a sense of hope, resilience, and divine companionship in your marriage. If you’re struggling to connect spiritually, consider a faith-based couples’ workshop or seek fellowship in your church community.

Your Faith-Filled Toolkit for Staying Connected

Ways Christian Couples Can Stay United During Transitions:

Pray Together Daily: Even a brief moment centers your hearts on God’s presence and peace.
Plan Regular Date Nights: These don’t need to be fancy: consistency matters more than cost.
Attend Church or Virtual Worship: Community care uplifts, and shared worship knits faiths closer.
Schedule Time for Intimacy: Emotional and physical closeness restore what stress depletes.
Actively Forgive: Release old hurts, choosing grace as the default in conflict.
Express Needs and Listen Genuinely: Vulnerability is strength, not weakness.
Invest in Personal Growth: When each partner seeks God’s direction individually, the relationship benefits collectively.

When to Seek Help: Leaning on Support and Restoration

If you notice repeated patterns: arguments that circle back with no resolution, long periods of silence, or overwhelming disconnection: it’s not a sign you’ve failed; it’s an invitation to seek help. Our counselors at Grace Journey Counseling, LLC. are deeply anchored in faith-filled wisdom and compassion. We believe that hope, healing, and restoration are always possible, no matter how complicated the season.

If you’d like to learn more or schedule a time to talk, our user-friendly online booking system is open, and you can also explore our resources and upcoming events on our blog.

Trusting Your Marriage’s Journey to God’s Grace

Change is hard: but it’s also holy. Every transition contains seeds for growth, vulnerability, and transformation when watered by God’s grace and mercy. By avoiding these common pitfalls and leaning into supportive habits, your relationship can not only weather life’s storms but become a powerful testimony of love, faith, and resilience.

Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. If you find yourself in need of community, encouragement, or guidance, consider reaching out. Grace Journey Counseling, LLC. is honored to walk alongside you, lighting the way back to connection, hope, and God’s vision for your marriage.